How a Web Design Goes Straight to Hell

How a Web Design Goes Straight to Hell

hello I need a new web site well that iss just do diddly dandy because
i am a web designer ewwwww! and your so cute and hip and really edgy looking you must be a good designer ahh shucks thanks Well, here is the situation My current web site is just really outdated
and we are looking to grow the company buy an unrealistic rate and I mean really unrealistic you have come to the right people look at how nice their portfolio is with our help we will help you convert your
customers better integrate web 2.0 technologies
and successfully convey the message of your brand can you show us the web site you have now sure check it out but I am sooo embarassed oh god! HAHA! What a piece of crap our last designer was and idiot for real how did this happen this site is a crime against humanity Oh god wait those animated gifs are about to make me
have a seizure and poop my pants Ok, here is your new web site Chicka Chicka Wah Wah! I love it looks amazing I want to make sweet and tender
old man love to it But.. just a few minor changes this design is perfect but I’m
the CEO so I feel obligated to make changes to feel like I’ve done my job properly also i’ll use phrases like user experience and conversion oriented to sound smart even
though I didn’t know I barely how to use a computer could you make the design pop a bit more it needs to be more edgy it doesn’t quite feel right pop?… sure i guess… Great! so I thought about it and we definately want
to switch the font back the comic sans also could you make a lens flare? those are very web 2.0 one other thing, the site needs
to be definately less liney when I look at it all I see is lines can you do that? Liney? That means it’s a good weapon design you
retarded old fart whatever! here is your new design I even used some of your dog shit suggestions
you sent me but marking up my mock-up in microsoft paint WOW! looks so much better now that I have destroyed
all of your professional integrity maybe I should be a web designer since I
know so much god i am so smart I just want
to kiss myself anyways, now that it looks so much better because
of me I want to get some feedback from my friends, co-workers, uncle maybe even my pet hamster in fact… my mom designed a bake sale flyer back in
nineteen eighty two so you could say she has an eye for design and she said it needs some brighter
colors it looks too gloomy perhaps a little pink and to throw in a kitten too everyone loves kittens OH FUCK! I don’t think I can be a web designer any
longer I can’t stand all the self absorb egotistical
idiots I have to deal with on a daily basis maybe I should start digging ditches or give sponge baths to old smelly people I think I’m going to shoot myself in the face okay I have another suggestion OH FUCK NO! give me the gun now Ha Ha you are so funny okay, so my dog miffles is a big deal he’s basically the most important part of
my life I want you to add stream of consciousness copy to the web page where it’s like miffles
is talking to the user I will send you a few pages of the narration
of what miffles is probably thinking about such as I love tasty treats and hello welcome to my web site I am a dog and you should shake paw LOL! oh my God I think I’m going to have to have
a seizure a jam my head through this computer screen God please don’t make me do this Please! Why? Why? dur dur dur oh God I think I’m going to retarded
dur dur dur pull yourself together man.. dur let’s just do this and get this guy out of
here here is your new pink web site with screaming
dog consciousness, a baby kitten and a huge or RSS icon with lens flare I even added in the old lightning bolt from
your last web site and so much text you don’t even know what
your web site is about anymore ar you happy you dirty old butt wipe? what was that? I said are you happy with your new web site? oh yeah WOW! aha give me a cigarette I don’t think I can handle how nice it looks Zippity Doodl! could someone please twist my nipples now there’s a design that pops you’re going to put this in your
portfolio right? oh God please no more… dur..
dur dur Tom selleck’s mustache dur dur. Oh God No! I’m going crazy because of this old retarded
bastard dur Oprah’s underwear CSS makes me feel funny in my tummy dur dur Oh God! short circuit eminent too many stupid people dur my hipster designer brain is painin
dur dur


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    Corsair Carl

    I never got this Comic Sans thing, but I never made a website nor asked a web designer, I know the font is hard to read so I don't use it…is that the reason?

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    @RedneckYachtClubber From a design point of view, it's just an extremely outdated, over-used and unprofessional font. It's especially funny when people ask for hip and edgy graphic designs, but insist on using old fonts like comic sans, papyrus and helvetica. 😀 It's like wearing outdated clothes to a club…you just won't fit in the way you want to!

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