Being An Artist Is Lonely – Dr. Ken Atchity

Being An Artist Is Lonely - Dr. Ken Atchity

going back to Philip Roth again seeing interviews with him toward the later years of his life he had moved from New York City to sort of the Connecticut woods to be left alone and all of the journalists said isn't it lonely here for you and he said it is but I enjoy it there's no there's no friction there's nothing because I guess he guess it was after port noise complaint or one of the he was just receiving so much attention and he was bombarded with people's opinions and this was just an easier way for him to continue and I know this is a common thing of sort of taking yourself off the map so that you can create but yet the loneliness was worth it versus the friction yeah and obviously it worked for him because other people who would go off to live in the woods end up not being productive because they they think that's gonna solve their problem I mean I learned this the hard way because I had to finish a book early in my academic career and I decided I'd go to my parents late college or the summer and just sit there and finish it and of course I almost got nothing done that summer because one thing led to the other people would stop by to visit because there was the lake and you know the lawn would need attending or the cabin itself needed fixing and I used every excuse I could possibly think of to avoid sitting down to write and this is where I worked out a lot of the the theories that are in my view of creativity is that summer because pressure is what causes creativity to work best lack of pressure actually works against creativity so as a producer I'd much rather have a low-budget film to deal with where every single thing that you do has to be a solution to the fact that you don't have enough money to do it so it becomes more creative and you tell the crew that you know we have to have creative solutions to these issues because money is not going to solve this we don't have the money and of course studio films don't have that issue they have endless pockets and so on but nonetheless you can see that if there was more discipline to them a lot of them would be better than they are when you see a film that has six or seven writers listed you know at the beginning as screenwriters you know that this was just caused by money you know they they didn't work with writer number three long enough they just fired him and brought in writer number four and that was the expensive way to do it and but there's there's a challenge in the pressure that comes and time pressure is the number one pressure more than financial even that works on behalf of creativity if you only have a limited amount of time I always found that I did my most creative work half an hour before committee meeting because I hated committee meetings and I still find that when I have to go to something that I'm not wild about going to I have suddenly extremely creative an hour before that and rather than resenting that I my my creativity around that so that that's when I do it whenever I can and I think that that's what we have to learn about our minds is how to how to kind of trick them into behaving the way we want them to behave to producing what we want them to produce so you talked about the type C personality and then in your book how to escape lifetime security and pursue your impossible dream a guide to transforming your career is it chapter six a day in the life of type C and I was wondering if we could talk about that how is that Dana life is it a structured day is it well it's different from you know it's going to be different for every type C and it's going to be different from from people who are not type C's and how it's different is that the type C's has learned how to arrange his day to fit his type to fit his mind to fit his or her mind some people are night owls and some people are you know early birds and the early bird writer is not going to write late at night because she not comfortable writing in weight at night she's comfortable in the morning so if she gets up at 4 o'clock she's gonna give herself as much time as she has attention span for to do her writing in the morning which is when I love to do mine because no one interrupts you from Florida to 7:00 in the morning but if you're an idol as toking was he wrote Lord of the Rings completely after one o'clock at night because he he was so busy all the time before then and had a family and everything else so he wrote in the middle of the night and sometimes he wrote all night and just went to you know went off to school to teach without any sleep at all but that was okay because he was doing what he loved so his his day would be arranged differently than you know the day of someone who was on a clock that's not their clock somebody wish to show up for a nine o'clock job it's not on their own clock and their day is going to be probably one that they're upset with most of the time whereas if you're you know if you're type C and you in charge of your own life you're gonna rearrange it around the patterns that work best for your mind and that I think that's crucial part of becoming a Type C is having your own kind of day okay I go to a lot I go to meetings to sell the properties that we've developed and I don't like going to meetings because it takes a lot of time to get there and once you're there there's a certain amount of wasted time and then you do it the thing it's always fun you know even though you dreaded it so I try to arrange my day so that I'm doing something that is very productive like I always say I didn't get any work done and my wife is telling me what are you talking about you went to three pitch meetings that's it you know – at three different networks yeah I know but I don't feel like I got any work done I mean that's it's just your mental view of things and so I think that everyone's type there every type C day is going to be different and what you really need to do is if you're interested in pursuing this for yourself as you need to figure out what is your ideal day I mean is it important to you to go for a walk is it to meditate is an important she to spend next time on your creative work and is it important to you to spend next time with your family and all of those things and you sit there and rearrange your day to make that work that's what time management is all about and how do you do it you know no matter how busy you are there are busier people I was reading Michelle Obama's book and nobody could be busier than the President of the United States and the First Lady of the United States but somehow they they made time for everything they needed to make time for which tells you that there was time management at work because certainly if anybody had infinite things to do an infinite work to do it would be those two but if they can do it you can do it too I think philip k dick loved to write at night and he would stay up all night and i'm not sure if some of it was maybe chemically chemically induced but then when he married another wife she wanted him to write from nine to five she said i'm very middle-class it was why i liked these hours and so he eventually got his own apartment what she called the hovel and it was dirty and he felt that he did his best writing when when he wanted to in this you know sort of dirty apartment and it just lent to what he was doing so it's just interesting how yeah you know world the hubble syndrome is is interesting because i think every creative person can relate to that president obama called his the hole and it was always a room that had to be found in any house they were in where nothing could be touched you know he could do whatever he wanted and usually there are papers all over the floor and everything like it was there that he finished a book or a speech and so on and the hubble is the same idea and i noticed that you know i've always been the same way by the weekend my office is a complete mess there are things all over the floor and and then by Monday it's all shipshape and when you think about that it's nothing but the externalization of the creative process because the creative process is making order out of chaos you know in st. John's Gospel says in the beginning was the word and the Word was with God and the Word was God he was the beginning with God all things were made through him you know and and he goes on and talks about the light let there be light etc so when when the artist creates something he is taking a bunch of little things and creating order out of them and so the externalized version of that is living in a messy place and straightening it up when as much as you have to whenever you have to and if there's some external force that is forcing you to straighten it up then that creative person is not in charge of their own life and they can be you can always find a way to do it there's a touching short story by Doris Lessing called to room 19 I think that's the name of it – room 16 maybe in any case it's it's one of her greatest short stories and it's about a housewife who longed all of her life to have a room of her own and and it was because she couldn't she couldn't be herself in her family and she couldn't do what she wanted to do and she didn't feel free and I won't tell you how it ends because it's not a fun ending but it's a very tragic example of what happens if you don't take charge of your own creative life interestingly enough Tolkien wrote a very introspective piece called leaf by niggle strange title but niggle was the name of a painter who had this amazing vision of a spectacular forest and his vision was so clear that he could see every tree in the forest clearly every animal in the forest every leaf on every tree in the forest and because he was so busy he never got around to painting more than a single leaf that's the way the story ends up you know ends up and it's really Tolkien's agonized argument for why he had to write in the middle of the night because he determined that he was not gonna be niggle you know even though he wrote something like four books on linguistics and different languages and of course Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion and many other great works he felt that he had barely gotten to one tree in his forest and only that because he rode all night so that that is a terrible thing to kind of carry around is the the belief that you can do amazing things which you don't have time to do them and the answer is that's not right you do have time I mean where did Michelangelo find his time where did Leonardo da Vinci find his time you know they all had the exact same number of hours that we have and your job is to take your vision seriously and find those hours to make it happen or someone like Alice Monroe who when she first started out was I guess raising four children and she didn't want the other housewives in the neighborhood to know that she was a writer because she thought she would get the weird label which she ended up getting and she didn't care anyway but um I guess when you you win a Nobel Prize it doesn't it takes all that away but you know but she would do it when the children were napping and if the other housewives knocked on the door you know she would put it all away she don't want people to know but so I realized that stigma is probably no longer today no it's it's fill there is it yeah it's it's it's a it originates in people's families and and it's it's when you you you announce to your father or your mother that you're going to be a writer or you're going to be a circus clown or you're going to be a dancer or you're going to be an actress and that is where it starts because they you know the normal responses are what are you gonna do for a living and that haunt you there's another but one of my books my talk about learning as you go into the creative life learning who your true friends are and learning who your friendly associates are because you lose most of your friendly associates when you make a decision to go from a rational life to a creative life and once they that class I gave a regular class at UCLA that was called keeping your spirits up for creative people and one time there were a bunch of actresses in the class and I said at the beginning of the class I said let's go around the circle and everyone introduce themselves and tell me tell me your name and where you're from and what is the worst question that you could be asked at a bar or a cocktail party in LA and have you respond to it and when when lady said you know she was from Arkansas and her name was Joe and the worst question that she had in LA was when he gonna go back to Arkansas and work in the post office again and I said howdy we answered that that's terrible and she goes usually by bursting into tears and leaving the room and I said well hopefully this class will find some help for that the next woman said her name was Jenny and she was from California and she said and the worst question that I have is what have you been in big lately that I've seen and I said yeah that terrible question – she goes and I understood what is your answer she goes the Pacific Ocean and I always loved that because it showed that here's a creative person who has figured out how to protect her mind from the inevitable things that are going to happen in the big world people are not born with sensitivity they don't walk out of our homes on the way to a party going I'm going to be particularly sensitive today and the first thing they say to an actress they meet us what have you been in bigs that I've seen it's not because they're mean or that they're nasty people but maybe they are but it's probably because they aren't being sensitive and you having that answer instantly bonds you with them and makes them respect you for respecting yourself enough to not take their questions seriously you don't ever have to answer any question that somebody gives you unless you feel like it so when she answers it that way she disarms the whole situation whereas the first girl is not doing such a good job because she shouldn't be going to parties until she can answer that question about going back to Arkansas and working for the post office and that's a another example of protecting your mind and not protecting your mind and having the introspection to know how to deal and you were talking about like whether people react how do people react to you're deciding to be creative you know I always say it's it's like there's this guy down the street who's been painting in his garage for the last ten years and you know when the neighbors are talking they're talking about a mess he's crazy you know he's a crackpot he's been doing that for twenty years whatever and then one day they read in the paper that one of his paintings sold for a million dollars and what did they what do they say I always knew the guy was a genius you know he had to be a genius to be working that hard but everything suddenly changes when the world accepts your creativity but the only way you're gonna get to that point is if you absolutely control what you're doing and believe in it yourself and even if you don't believe in it keep acting as though you do and in words you don't have to believe in things you don't have to feel good in order to work and you don't have to feel good in order to do good work you can work and normally when you work you get rid of these feelings anyway so this is all examples of dealing with the creative mind and how to get it to be your friend as opposed to be something you're scared of and don't want to take off to a cabin in the woods well I noticed with the star is born' which is now up for an Oscar we're just about a month away or so that what struck me about the film was the loneliness of the creative process and the lack of people around them when they were working on things and whether it was his drinking or whatever it was but that it was so lonely and it was just them and their material yeah they had handlers around them and dancers and different things but when they were home it was it was very lonely and I just thought that was very interesting yeah it's a kind of loneliness that you can't really describe to people who are part of it and so after a while you stop trying to describe it maybe you go to a shrink to talk to the shrink about it at one of my clients is a shrink for creative people and probably half the people in the Hollywood business go to him and and they all have the same problems having to do with the unbearable heaviness of what they do and the fact that it is a lonely process that no one understands you like I'm a producer and people say what does the producer do and I go I have to give a like Pacific Ocean kind of answer to that because it is a long conversation and nobody understands it and nobody's really that interested anyway so it's it's just that's what you're dealing with in the creative world you're trying to articulate things that are alien to most people who are not living creative lives and it's it's a burden to bear but it gets easier to bear the more the light the more likely you take it when you don't take it that heavily when you have a dog or a cat or you know something that you can it makes you feel human if you cook like I love cooking and I love playing tennis and I'm not thinking creative thoughts when I'm cooking or playing tennis I'm just doing those things so I think that you you you learn you you have to give yourself a chance to be with your own mind and figure it out and realize that you know you can control it you know I always think the creative mind has these parts to it that the artist really needs to be aware of and and the parts are there's a great big bunch of it if you imagine the mind like a big globe there's a huge continent in the middle of it that I call the continent of Reason and it is all the established things in your life it's your entire education it's it's your ability to tell time and how many languages you can tell time it's even language because if you weren't on that continent you would need a language right if you weren't communicating with millions of people you wouldn't need languages so that's orderly is from that continent of reason and then there's these islands all over the place that are each individual and they don't have anything to do with the continent and on those islands strange things can happen those are the like all the visionary islands of a mind and the most most people are trained as they're growing up when they're when their parents talked them out of being a painter and and talked them into being a dentist you know or talking them out of being a ballerina and talked them into being a teller at the bank you know those people are trained to be members of the continent to be good members of the society that is the continent of reason where everything is orderly where you show up at nine o'clock you don't show up at 9:05 you know if you show up at quarter to nine that's good but quarter after nine that's the end of the job so those people are raised that way and the artist refuses to be raised that way he wants to be he wants to visit all these islands and he wants to somehow do something with those islands and eventually he wants to introduce those islands to the continent because it takes stuff from the continent like language in order to write a story it takes stuff from the continent like you know color and lines and framing to be a painter and if you don't know those basic you know can conventions you can't be a painter but you so you you learn them but you your goal as an artist is to make them different than anything that's ever been on the continent before right and eventually if you succeed and just as jumping way ahead then what you've done is now a part of the continent if you're succeeded and and on that I've never heard that's put more eloquently than in a brilliant little book called Picasso by Gertrude Stein that everybody artistic should read but one of the things she says in there is every everybody thought that what Pablo was seeing was different but he was only seeing what he was seeing he was not seeing what anyone else was saying he was just seeing what he was saying and after a while he started painting what he was seeing and only what he was saying and before long suddenly we were seeing what he was seeing and that kind of explains the whole process by which an original vision gets translated into a classic you know Picasso was now considered a classic painter in terms of the history of art and and only because he saw things differently and had the courage and strength to convey his vision and then finally his vision started catching on because somebody bought a napkin for a million dollars you know and he was no longer the crazy painter which he was absolutely before that first cultural breakthrough that commercial breakthrough and that's that's part of the excitement of it is to see how art is changed culture by sticking to their eccentric sort of anti cultural stance we're talking about the artists is-is-is anti cultural in the beginning because he's pursuing his own private vision and when his private vision begins to be accepted by the larger culture then he becomes an established artist and that sounds good to the persons who live on the continent of reason but to the artist that becomes dangerous and and and fraught with peril because he was never interested in being like the people on the continent and now he is one of those people so what does he do he goes through periods of his Picasso you know he starts writing different kinds of books if he's a writer and his publishers don't like that because they like him to write thrillers because they they're part of the continent of reason and they have continent of reason invented pigeon holes and niches you know find your niche young man someone once told me find your niche because I was trying to do a magazine about dreams and the arts and he was the editor psychology today and that word niche is the continent telling you you're too far out there you know that's not going to work and okay well we stubbornly continued my editor my co-editor and I on and we created a magazine that lasted for ten years published in New York and so on but only because we ignored him telling us to find the niche but when we found that niche you know we have to think of like what are we gonna do next and that's what Picasso has to think about so he switches to his blue period and switches to his cubist period and so on just because he's now competing with himself you know his part of the culture is now earlier Picasso and that is a tremendous burden for the successful artist to bear think about Stravinsky whose greatest works where his first works but the guy lived to be you know 90 years old at the right of the spring and and petrushka and the Firebird suite were all written when he was much younger so how does a guy like that live through the next 40 years with great difficulty and experimentation and and switching from composing to conducting and lots of other things he wasn't like he didn't have a worthwhile life but he was always nagged and haunted by the fact that his art was in a sense premature when it comes to healthy happy you know mental development this is the kind of issues that artists deal with and it's why a lot of people are telling you don't do that just work for the post office you know work in a secure position didn't work for you Kowski no it didn't he was a good friend when he was around and I he talked about hovels and Kay so I once took my my five-year-old daughter to his house to pick up something because he was speaking in a poetry series at Occidental College that I was in charge of and she walked into the house and she sat it at the top of her voice they had this the filthiest house I've ever seen in my life and it's true there was toilet paper on the floor there were dirty dishes all over the floor it was a mess but you know he wrote incredible poems that moved everybody when I went to Italy as a Fulbright professor I was surprised to learn that rather than Wallace Stevens and Hemingway all of which I was prepared to teach in Melville they only wanted to hear about Bukowski his books were translated into Italian all of them and he was you know he was a mess and he was his personal life was was a mess and he kind of liked it that way he never ran out of material to write and he's one of the few who was able to sustain a long career without feeling trapped by his previous career he was happy kind of doing what he was doing over and over again I was talking about publishers wanting a writer to constantly do thrillers because that's where his niche is and that's where he should can do do thrillers but the writer goes no I want to write mysteries now I want to write romance the publishers are not interested wait a minute we've made six million dollars out of you as a thriller writer and I don't know if you know you could even speak to the romance audience well I'd like to try well okay then we're gonna have to use a different name so a typical response is for an artist like keep them like Agatha Christie to have four or five pen names and write under many names Stephen King for example because they want to write different things they don't want to be repetitive and forced their art into a mold that is part of the continent of reason and that's I've always seen that those are the two big things going on at the artists mind but then there's a third thing which I call the managing editor which is the part of a mind that sees this whole thing it's similar to you know meditators till I knew that you there's the third eye there's the watcher that you have to develop to see your thinking and to realize that it's not you if there's more to you than just the thinking well that's kind of what we talked about in one of my books the managing editor is the one who says I've got to negotiate a deal between the continent and the islands so that we can actually get this book done because we need things from the continent like time which the continents in charge of because on the islands there is no time things happen all in at once and there is no beginning middle and end just everything happens at once but on the continent that that's not allowed things have to have a beginning a middle and end in that order unlike the Italian director who said that movie didn't have to have a beginning middle did have to have a beginning middle in of it not necessarily in that quarter he was giving an island response to a continent question and the question was does a movie have to have a beginning middle in it he goes yes but not in that order and that's a the managing editor is the part of your mind it sees this and goes okay we're gonna negotiate if you say I'm going to go to this cabin and write this book no matter how long you know how much it takes I'm gonna stay there until it's done the continent freaks out because it's going oh I'm gonna starve to death like what's gonna happen if you never finish the book what's gonna happen so but but my intention editor works out a deal and goes no we're only gonna do two hours a day three hours a day and then we're gonna do it for ten weeks and at the end of that with that many hours we're gonna be done and here's the path so it could play as so the continent is allowed to relax because this intervening force has told the crazy islands it wants to write this book you guys can come out and do this but you can only you're gonna have this much time and blah blah blah within this compartment and that's that's what I think makes the same artists as opposed to someone who's not saying is working out deals like that with themselves maybe not so formal but that that's what they they do they make bargains to keep their art going well in the case of Bukowski the the sort of slavery of his nine-to-five job if you want to call it that was the impetus for a lot of his stories and it helped fuel him and it helped give him that chip on his shoulder and sort of put a voice is what so many people felt so it's almost as if it worked for him yeah and and well as Stevens who was one of my favorite American poets and oddly similar to Bukowski in a very interesting ways was selling insurance all of his life he was writing his greatest poem like Sunday morning on a train commuting from Hartford to New Haven wearing a three-piece suit because he was an insurance salesman and that's what he had to do and TS Eliot was working as a bank teller when he was writing The Waste Land so yeah ordinary jobs can be can be used to spark creativity and the artists like Bukowski in his later years found himself more and more troubled when he had an unstructured life and didn't have to you know go anywhere you


  1. Spiros Kagadis

    I believe that feeling lonely is a vital part of being an artist because this way you can be motivated to communicate, through your art, with the mass of other people (or continent as Dr Ken Atchity refered to them!)

  2. Cepheid

    In isolate myself in my studio, but have a loving and supporting family right outside the door. I get the best of both worlds there. Although I still feel lonely in that not many people I know share my passion for art (music) . Maybe it's better that way, like it is something that is just meant for me!

  3. 81ackman

    Obama and his wife had massive staffs, that is how they got things done, it is well known he never wrote his books.

  4. Reality Check

    This is why I can't stand clingy Girlfriends. They can't stand being alone and need to control/ nag you. Need to know what you are working on, why and so on. I retired from relationships and welcomed loneliness! Having kids would be pure hell…. Sure at times one can have their down moments from isolation, but the freedom and peace out weighs that, silence is Gold. I can't wait to be retired so I can have even more freedom.

  5. Mac Dave

    I think when true creativity aligns with a physical breakthrough that loneliness dissipates and only seems like it was part of the creative process itself

  6. The Feel Button

    Moving to a isolated location increased my artistic productivity significantly but it took a year of low productivity getting used to the environment. Great interview!

  7. Stone Village

    I love how he places the creative mind in such a distinct context, with examples from the past and personal conversations that shape/reinforce his ideas. Brilliant man!

  8. FlyingOverTr0ut

    I've found all this stuff to be true. I've had to make my day the way I want to write. I moved into my car, quit my job, drove from Virginia to LA, and haven't been happy getting up late every day so I'm pushing myself to wake up at 6 AM so I get everything I need done to have time to write at night.

  9. Beeblebrox One

    It's nice she lets him answer completely without interrupting but i noticed at some points the interviewer is so set on what question she has planned to ask next that she seems to be not picking up on what he says and following up on that or asking him if he could explain how he does what he started talking about.. he said he tends to try to take advantage of the fact he works best when he has time pressure and he tries to use that, she could have elaborated on that, asked about that and how best to do this but she seems to not be LISTENING to what his answers are, she seems to just be wanting to get to her next planned question. Maybe something for your interviewers to think about, actually listen to what is being said and ask about that, he seems to want to explain. Actually, as the interview goes on i see she is actually listening. I'm grumbling because of one point i would have liked to have heard more about but it's still a far better interview technique than most I've seen.

  10. peto barker

    There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. For me I am alone many times but I don't feel lonely. Experience may vary. Preference too.

  11. Monique Amado - Artist & Life Coach

    I love Ken. He's so real. I love the fact that he doesn't bring a "one size fits all" approach to the creative process. At 8:47 he sheds light on something I ponder a LOT. It's no accident about the Word being the most powerful form of communication and that Jesus was a storyteller. I like Ken a thousand times more after him mentioning this. AND he mentions Tolkien… and Leaf by Niggle!

  12. Sven K

    I can totally recommend to own a dog to every artist especially writers. Walking the dog really helps me to recover and often I get most inspired observing him poop. Just kidding but it's really great to have somebody relaxing on your side while you work and I also get to know other dog owners. People I would never talk to if it wasn't for the dog and some elderly people tend to tell you interesting stories from their youth, war and stuff like that. It helps you to avoid being to isolated. I think it's also very healthy to leave your house at least three times a day and on long walks I keep on working in my head…

  13. Jeroen Simons

    A story is never black or white… Artistic people are sometimes more aware of their inner world/needs and they have the space created for being alone…To recharge their batteries so to speak and getting back in the flow of creation… Also being high sensitive or sometimes being autistic can be a cause together with introvert personality combined with a high iq..

  14. The Definition of Determination

    And the fact that he was quoting the Bible shows you how Important God's word the Bible IS

  15. gnarth d'arkanen

    Great discussion!

    There is a loneliness involved in creative processes that nobody around is going to understand. There's no good way to bridge the gap between what they do understand, and where your process functions… what you understand. There are tons of carpenters around my area, for instance. They frame… set shear-panels (plywood work)… insulate… cover… and even finishing work. There are cabinet and furniture makers, among them.
    When I do "that" kind of carpentry, it's almost exclusively on "pre-code" houses and buildings. It's places where there is no book for those plans. There's no standard measurement. Behind the plaster, you have NO idea where the hell to even look for a stud. It's a gigantic puzzle and not so much as a scrap note about who did it, how it was done, or any of the "meat and potatoes" from that time period to look up…
    I get told, "You're out of your d*** mind." a LOT. I get work, because I'm literally "the only guy crazy enough to try that".

    SO I steamed and pressed wood into the right curvatures. I made sure the panels had enough "substance" to them. AND then I put dowels into a drill and "crudely turned" them to shapely tapers and twists. Then I chiselled grooves around the ends, "just about so"… (laughably enough) and started carving and fitting the panels down into those grooves. When glued, and finished in spray lacquer, I was adorning the most recent house's front porch with "wooden long-stem roses", just to add another touch of "wonder" to the thing.
    Nobody's going to notice that the original cloth coated (highly flammable) wiring was carefully extracted and replaced with modern, good, house-wire. Nobody's even going to care that the original switch-plates could stay, while the mechanics of the switches under them were replaced with new updated stuff without "hurting" the look of something built before the civil war… and last updated before WWI.
    Most are going to notice the rose-blossom motif of the front gate, all wrought iron. They'll notice that I did acid-wash the stuff to give it a rustic look. (basically hit it with phosphoric acid to resist water/weather best, and to blacken it…lolz) BUT absolutely every single one of them noticed the "very unique" wooden long-stem roses standing in the front flower-box near the door. Even folks who have been in wood-work for thirty or forty years were trapped, marveling at them.

    BUT… Tomorrow, I'll be told a dozen more times, "You're out of your d*** mind." The same as usual… I shrug it off. Loneliness exists… Sure. It's the kind of loneliness that comfortably happens as part of the nature of the business. It's comfortable, because even while you're a bit lonely, you can enjoy NOT being distracted with petty BS. You don't need to waste time justifying your work or activity. You don't need to waste time explaining to people who neither want or actually intend to understand it… whatever "it" is. You don't need to repeat your affections to someone who has no intention of returning them. AND there are people who only seek to suck out absolutely as much time and energy as they can from someone else.
    …not everyone… but they do exist.

    It's okay being alone. It's even okay being uncomfortably alone. There's always a time and place to go when you need (and you will NEED) a break from it… but there's nothing wrong with embracing the experience of truly, remarkably, even disturbingly being alone.

    …and for the record… I don't think you "just get rid of those feelings" when you work. I think you work to focus, and let those feelings "sit on the back burner" while you hone your focus and skills in the work. BUT… it is worth pointing out, that it's just my opinion. ;o)

  16. Eternity's Scribe

    It is mentally exhausting if your over charismatic like me, I need to talk to people and merge with their mental it's the only way I get a great understanding of writing good character chemistry

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